Learning to go it alone.

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Monty jumped on Roscoe playfully last night but the scream Roscoe let out stopped Monty in his tracks.  Roscoe and I were on our way to the emergency vet immediately.  I instinctively wanted to call my husband who would calm me down on my drive to the clinic.

It was a habit really.  Kelly may have worked out of town a lot but he was always available when I needed him.   I remembered again that I was going to have to do this alone.  One more thing in the string of things that happen every day.  Big and small things, things you share with your spouse.

Alone.

Cancer stole Kelly from me.  I am mad, I am sad, but mostly I’m alone.

But sometimes I don’t feel so alone, sometimes I feel like somebody is with me and helping me.  Just when I think:  “Oh my gosh I just can’t do this anymore”, something wonderful happens and I can move forward.